Hollywood Stars - 2007

© 2007 by John Varley/Lee Emmett; all rights reserved

Donald Trump

"The Apprentice"
 

When: Tuesday, January 16, 2007 at 11:30 a.m.

Location: in front of the Hollywood & Highland center

The Donald: It really has been a special moment in my life.

I doubt we’d have bothered with The Donald, except you never know who else is going to show up. Neither Lee nor I are fans of him or his show. But we did go, and got to see Jay Leno and Larry King. And here’s a good place to comment on how honorees are chosen, which we’d been wondering about. It’s money. Used to be $15,000, now it’s $25,000. Oh, you have to be known to a sufficient number of a small panel of people, but basically you write a check for $25 big ones, and promise to be there for the ceremony, and you are DOWN, dude!

The rest is not so well known. Why is it that Dick Wolf, Stiller and Meara, and Vanna White get a star in front of a liquor store or a parking structure, and Bruce Willis gets one in front of Grauman’s, and The Donald gets his front and center at the Hollywood/Highland? It could be a matter of space. Let’s face it, more people show up for Bruce Willis than for Dick (who?) Wolf. They need a wider sidewalk. But I think that, in the case of Trump, a bit more money might have changed hands. Not that many turned out for him, and damn it … Donald Trump? On Hollywood Boulevard? On the strength of one awful (though, admittedly, quite popular) television show? This is a man with an ego, and he wanted to be on the sidewalk, but not where some bum’s bum will be obscuring his name most of the day.

We left before his speech. Who gives a rat’s ass what Donald Trump has to say?

Jerry Stiller & Anne Meara

Comic/Acting Team "Stiller & Meara" « Ben Stiller's Mom & Dad
 

When: Friday, February 9, 2007 at 11:30 a.m.

Location: 7018 Hollywood Blvd, west of Orange Drive

Comment: Stiller and Meara were the fourth married couple to receive a joint star on the Walk of Fame, after Sonny and Cher, television's Ozzie and Harriet Nelson, and radio's Fibber McGee and Molly (Jim and Marian Jordan), according to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, which oversees the Walk of Fame.

I didn’t recognize Anne Meara until she was introduced. The years have not been kind. Jerry Stiller looked just like he always has; he’s got one of those craggy faces that sets hard when he’s thirty. He looked like an old man 40 years ago. Eventually it will catch up with him and everything will head south, but not yet. Jason Alexander was there, and their very successful son, Ben. There was a lot of repartee, a lot of kidding around. This is a kidding family, and though I don’t know what they’re like in private, you get the impression that when they’re in public they’re always on, always ready with the schtick.

Dick Wolf

Creator/Producer "Law & Order"
 

When: Thursday, March 29, 2007 at 11:30 a.m.

Location: 7040 Hollywood Blvd, west of Orange Drive

Comment: Wolf's least favorite of more than 350 episodes, up to this point, is the one in which the daughter of Det. Lennie Briscoe (played by Jerry Orbach) gets killed by a drug dealer. “It was exactly what the show wasn't, but Jerry has pled for years, ‘Please let someone die in my arms so I can get nominated.’”

Dick Wolf is a writing machine, he’s the Rod Serling of the ‘90s, and “Law and Order” in its various incarnations has been so successful that, on at least a dozen cable channels, you can tune in at any hour of the day or night and hear the famous “Doink doink” sound effect they use between scenes. Myself, I have enjoyed L&O from time to time, but if I never heard that doink doink again I’d be happy. It’s run its course. Wolf is listed as the writer for 391 episodes of the original series, 56 episodes of “Special Victims Unit,” and 143 episodes of “Criminal Intent.” And I don’t believe that for a second. Sure, he probably helped in the creation process, but he has a staff, and after they’ve hashed out the plot I’m sure those people fill in the blanks. Why? You get more money if you write and produce. I’m not putting him down, I’m sure he does a lot of writing, but still … Ice-T was there, and Chris Noth spoke. So did Sam Waterston, and Lee didn’t manage to get a single shot of him where he wasn’t looking kind of goofy. We concluded that Waterston’s normal expression is kind of goofy, and when he raises his eyebrows, well, he gets even goofier.

Halle Berry

Monster's Ball « X-Men
 

When: Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 11:30 a.m.

Location: 6801 Hollywood Blvd, near Highland

Halle: I want to officially state that I am an emotional retard. I am so emotional ... as soon as I saw the crowds of people and friends here, I started to cry.

This was the first ceremony we watched from overhead, on a balcony at the Hollywood/Highland Center. That’s partly because the crowds were very heavy for Ms. Berry, and partly because you get a better view up there, though not quite as good in the close-ups. Samuel L Jackson was there before Halle arrived, working the crowd, signing autographs, talking to people across the barriers. That’s the first time we’d seen that. So far, all the other celebrities are interested only in their own parties, and the rest of us are there only to supply the cameras and the applause. Halle Berry, when she arrived, was stunning in a black dress, and seemed genuinely moved by it all.

James Bacon

Hollywood Reporter « Columnist
 

When: Friday, April 6, 2007 at 11:30 a.m.

Location: 1637 Vine Street, south of Hollywood Blvd.

James: She was drinking champagne and straight vodka and occasionally popping a pill, ... I said, “Marilyn, the combination of pills and alcohol will kill you.” And she said, “It hasn't killed me yet.” Then she took another drink and popped another pill. I know at night she took barbiturates.

We’d never heard of this guy, and still don’t know a lot about him. He doesn’t have a page at Wikipedia, if you can believe that. Hell, I have a page at Wiki, and nobody’s asked me if I want a star on the Walk of Fame … or offered to pay the 25 grand to get one. Doesn’t seem quite fair … But he is a reporter and columnist (don’t know if he’s still working; most of the people he used to cover are dead now), and back in the day, he knew everybody. I mean, everybody. Tim Conway and Angie Dickinson and Robert Wagner were there, and good ol’ Frank Sinatra, Jr., who seems to be on call for these sort of things, not having much else to do with his time. Bacon used to run with the Rat Pack in their heyday, and a lot of stories were told about the glory days in Vegas with Frank and Dino and those guys. Bacon is a healthy-looking 93 years old. There was an episode of “E! Hollywood True Story” made about him. I’d like to see it. This is the only ceremony we’ve seen on Vine Street, which is definitely seen as less choice real estate these days, but he wanted his star next to Sinatra’s, in front of a hotel that used to be a hang-out for some really big names, but is far from that now … and that’s what he got.

Forest Whitaker

The Last King of Scotland « The Crying Game « Bird
 

When: Monday, April 16, 2007 at 11:30 a.m.

Location: 6801 Hollywood Blvd, near Highland

Forest: I remember as a kid coming to the Walk of Fame. It was like a field trip and very exciting to us…. [The star represents] where I came from, and where I am going and hopefully where I am at right now.

Angela Bassett introduced the big guy, but this one was mostly about family. He seemed to have a lot of them, and they were all proud of him. He delivered a humble, thoughtful speech. It was a big and appreciative crowd. He was just coming off his Oscar for The Last King of Scotland, and seemed a bit overwhelmed by it all. He seems to be a peaceful man, a student of yoga, a vegetarian, and (this doesn’t preclude peacefulness) a black belt in karate.

Jon Peters

Producer
 

When: Tuesday, May 1, 2007 at 11:30 a.m.

Location: 6925 Hollywood Blvd, near Orange Drive

Jon: This is kind of embarrassing but I am proud to be here…. I started my career when I was 8 and recently kicked out of elementary school. ... It's been an amazing journey. Thank you.

How do you go from being a hairdresser to running Sony Pictures Studio (badly, according to many)? Why, just make sure the hair you dress belongs to Barbra Streisand. Soon you are friends, you date for a while, and the next thing you know, you’re a producer! (“I wanna be a producer, drink champagne until I puke!” ---Mel Brooks). And it can come in handy later in your career, too, when you’re getting your star on the Boulevard, and you let it be known that the divine Ms. S will be attending. Huge crowd … and let’s face it, how many people do you think would show up for Jon (who?) Peters? In the event, what we got was Brandon Routh, star of Superman Returns. Eventually Lee and I, and most of the people there, realized that we’d been had, that we were in fact waiting for Godot, not Streisand. Nice one, Jon.

Michelle Pfeiffer

Scarface « The Fabulous Baker Boys « Batman Returns
 

When: Monday, August 6, 2007 at 11:30 a.m.

Location: 6801 Hollywood Boulevard, near Highland

Michelle: [My mother] taught me that I could do anything and that I should have a career before I get married. [My father] taught me that you can make something of yourself if you work hard.

We shoulda brought the ladder. Once more, a huge crowd, and Lee wasn’t able to get any pictures. So she handed the camera over to me and I held it over my head and managed to get a few good ones. She was gorgeous, as you’d expect. Right now it’s a toss-up in my own head as to who was the prettiest star so far, between Halle Berry and Michelle. Well, Annette Bening is not bad, either.