Click on photo to enlarge
As Sunset gets harder and harder to walk on, and less and less
interesting, we've taken to doing more side trips.
Westwood Village
is no more than a mile from the Boulevard, and hidden away where I
guarantee you'd never find it unless you were walking, and probably
not even then, is a place with more stars per square foot than
anywhere in Hollywood, maybe anywhere in the world. Sadly, they're
all dead ...
It is literally surrounded by skyscrapers. There is nowhere on the
street where you can see even a hint of the park, there is only a
small sign on Glendon Avenue, where you turn into an alley. If you
keep going straight you'll end up in the
Avco multiplex theater
parking structure. But if you bear to your right, you will find a
little patch of green with some big trees. Maybe two acres? I'm
never sure just how big that is, but I'd be amazed if the place was
any bigger than that, and it might be smaller. There is nothing
fancy about it. The largest mausoleum belongs to the
Armand Hammer
family, and I've seen much bigger ones in small Texas towns.
All of it is wide open to the public, except for one small room with
niches for ashes, and one small corner where
Fanny Brice is buried.
It is the only LA cemetery that you could actually go to without a
map, just wander, and have a good chance of finding the graves of
the famous ... though you'd have to look carefully for some of them,
as they have only a one-foot-square tablet set in the ground, such
as
Burt Lancaster. Many more are hardly more imposing.
If Hollywood Forever gives top billing to
Rudolph Valentino, the
headliner here in Westwood has to be
Marilyn Monroe. Just a simple
crypt, simple plaque, but there are always fresh flowers. Legend
was that
Joe DiMaggio used to have them delivered there, but now he's
pushing up daisies, too. And would you believe, the empty slot right
next to her has been bought by ...
Hugh Hefner. Makes you wonder.
You figure, once his wasted old carcass is finally put to rest, you
might come by at midnight and hear the sound of ... chiseling? Hef's
ghost, clad in translucent maroon silk PJs and robe and slippers,
pipe clutched in his ghastly teeth, trying to break through to, so
to speak, jump her bones?
I'm not going to mention all the names. It would take Lee forever to
link them all, and they're there on the map. Just a few highlights
... or, actually, below-ground lights ...
There is a row of three stones near the visitors building: a hat
trick!
Jack Lemmon,
Carroll O'Connor, and
Billy Wilder ("I'm a
writer, but nobody's perfect!" The last three words are the last
lines of
Some Like It Hot). Nearer
the road is
Rodney Dangerfield ("There goes the neighborhood") and
Walter Matthau.
George C Scott is on the map, but his stone is
unmarked.
Roy Orbison is unmarked, too, as is
Frank Zappa.
Elizabeth Taylor's parents are here.
Dorothy Stratten is the
Playboy playmate who was
murdered by her crazy boyfriend, and played by
Mariel Hemingway in
Star 80.
Minnie Riperton was a
Motown singer with incredible range, who died
young.
Carl Wilson was a
Beach Boy.
Dominique Dunne is the daughter of
Dominick, the novelist who later
became a trashy TV show host.
Elizabeth Montgomery,
Janis Joplin, and
Gene Kelly were cremated
here and either buried or scattered elsewhere.
In short, if you are interested in visiting the graves of the
famous, this is the place to go!
May 28, 2006