August 15, 2003 - The ’03 Recall in 10 Haikus

 

© 2003 by John Varley; all rights reserved
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Recall has gotten so exciting that I was moved to something I seldom do: write poetry. The sheer gargantuan size of the event would seem to require an epic on the scale of the "Inferno" or "Paradise Lost," but you’re in luck. Election day is near (unless that Federal judge postpones it today) so there’s no time for anything but haiku. (Note: some of you may not be familiar with the form. Haiku are Japanese poems, three lines of seventeen syllables, five, seven, and five, that express a single thought or paint a single picture.) (Further note: most of you probably don’t know this, but Schwarzenegger means "black plowman" in German.)

 

 

- 1 -

 		 
 

 

The Gray eminence

Falls to the floor and shatters.

Farewell, Guv, farewell.

 

  
 

- 2 -

 		 
 

 

Austrian farm boy,

Terminator, black plowman:

Der Schwarzenegger.

 

  
 

- 3 -

 		 
 

 

Far Right wing laments,

"Arnold? Pro-choice, for gay rights.

Bring back Ron Reagan!"

 

  
 

- 4 -

 		 
 

 

Lieutenant Guv’nor

Said he wouldn’t run, but did.

Shame, Bustamante.

 

  
 

- 5 -

 		 
 

 

The bo-tox’d eyes shine,

The porn-star boobs undulate.

Oh! Oh! Angelyne!

 

  
 

- 6 -

 		 
 

 

Peter Ueberroth ...

The name rings a far-off bell.

Was he famous once?

 

  
 

- 7 -

 		 
 

 

Thick foreign accent,

Wealthy immigrant. Arnold?

No! Arianna!

 

  
 

- 8 -

 		 
 

 

Publisher Larry,

Flynty eye consuming lust:

Hustler centerfold.

 

  
 

- 9 -

 		 
 

 

Wee Gary Coleman,

The has-been stink clings strongly.

Diff’rent strokes, my man.

 

  
 

- 10 -

 		 
 

 

Here comes Bill Simon,

Serious politician.

Who gives a goddamn?

 

  

 

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