We found an article, “Imagine a world without copyright,” by Joost Smiers and Marieke van Schijndel, at the Common Dreams website. Apparently Common Dreams stole it from the International Herald Tribune, using something called “fair use,” and the following boilerplate to cover their asses:

FAIR USE NOTICE
This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

I am a novelist and short story writer, and several times a year I get requests for fair use copying of one of my stories from a high school or college, seeking permission to make only enough copies to distribute to students. I always grant it, because education is expensive enough already. Other than that, if you want to use something I’ve written, you damn well better pay me for it or I’ll have your sorry ass in court.

I was going to publish this article in its entirety here because surely no one would have the stones to protest my appropriating their article that advocates the appropriation of all art by any and all comers. Sort of like Al Franken praying for Fox News to sue him. But the depths of human stupidity have yet to be plumbed, I can’t afford a lawsuit, and upon reflection, I really can’t undercut the IHT, who presumable did pay for it, and who count on hits at their site to attract people who won’t click on their ads. So I ask you to click on this link and read the article, because if you don’t read it, none of what I’m about to say will make any sense: "Imagine a World Without Copyright."

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Here is the letter I am sending to the authors:

Dear M. Smiers and Mej. van Schijndel,

I read your article with a great deal of trepidation, since I have recently finished a year of hard labor writing a novel. It will be published April 6, with the paperback to follow in about a year. It’s hard to accept a world where my copyright would expire a few weeks into the period of highest projected sales. I own the copyrights to 10 novels and numerous short stories, and the income from these books have kept me in food and shelter for most of my life. In addition, I get paid for translation rights, and from time to time have sold the rights to my works in Hollywood. It would be hard to give this up.

I notice that you both come from a country that has subsidized artists for decades, buying any “work of art” created by anyone, so long as they are Dutch, resulting in vast warehouses of “people’s art,” as reported by Robert Hughes in his book The Culture of Complaint: The Fraying of America: “The storage, air-conditioning and maintenance expenses are now so high that they have to get rid of the stuff. But they can’t. Nobody wants it. They tried giving it to public institutions, like lunatic asylums and hospitals. But even lunatic asylums insisted on standards—they wanted to pick and choose. So there it all sits, democratic, non-hierarchical, non-elitist, non-sexist, unsalable and, to the great regret of the Dutch government, only partially biodegradable.” (Fair use quotation.) I suggest this “art” would find its highest use as landfill in one of your dikes.

My assumption was that, being talent-free yourselves, you had naturally gravitated into the racket of encouraging the talentless in the name of “artistic freedom,” that is, the incredible idea that one work of art is just as good as another, and your intent was to fill even more warehouses with crap. You know: If you have no ideas of your own, paint Darth Vader and sell that! Write novels using better writers’ characters, “sample” better music than your own into your awful little ditty.

Still ... maybe I’m behind the times. We all have to make sacrifices, I guess, to safeguard “our democratic right to freedom of cultural and artistic exchange.” Hooray for freedom! I guess sucking on the government tit of “artistic subsidies” will be a lot easier than actually trying to write something someone might want to read. God knows it’s been hard enough in the past. I could use a vacation.

But given the dismal history of artistic support in The Netherlands, I propose a test period to see how it might work. A free and fair exchange: Volunteer artist creators like me could sign up, and so could volunteer art consumers like you two. We artists would make all our works available to you for free. In exchange we would ask for only two things: Your homes, and your children.

I know it sounds extreme, but remember, I was dubious about your casual demolition of my means of livelihood for the last 31 years until I thought it over. Give me the same courtesy.

We can all agree that architecture is an art form. Therefore, all structures should be available to all the people to alter and incorporate into their personal cultural and artistic heritage as they see fit. Private ownership of real property is an outrage, when you think of it. How can someone presume to “own” an artistic masterpiece like the Chrysler Building? I want my piece of it.

I rather liked Dutch architecture when I was in Amsterdam. Maybe you two live in neat little houses like that. I’ll be moving in any day now, so be on the lookout for me! Of course, I’ll probably want to rearrange the furniture, maybe knock out some walls. I’ll want to tack up my big NASCAR posters and velvet paintings of Jesus and Elvis. And I’ll re-paint the rooms. I like puce and mauve, do you like puce and mauve? Well, it doesn’t matter, you won’t be consulted. Oh, yeah, and anything with peppermint stripes.

I’ll be bringing my stuff. A few dogs, cats, tarantulas, and of course the alligator. Also, I’ll be looking for a new career to supplement my government subsidy. I was thinking of either hog farming or cooking meth. I’ll need a room to do those things in.

As for your offspring ... I view my stories as my children. The thought of you or anyone else free to copy them or change them as they please appeals to me about as much as seeing you take a crap in my dinner, so I think your sacrifice should be commensurate. I don’t know how many children you have, or what their ages might be, but I can find a use for any of them. If they are grown, I will lease them out for contract labor. If they are still minors ... well, there’s always a market for them, down by the bus station, if you know what I mean.

This share-and-share-alike arrangement sounds reasonable to me. What do you think? Let’s try it out for a year, and see how we like it.

Sincerely,

John Varley
john@varley.net

This article is specifically NOT copyrighted in any way, shape, or form. Pass it on to all your friends, for free. But don’t be surprised to see me at your front door with a suitcase and a breeding pair of pigs ...
 

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